Just surfed a cool site that has two windows to gain entry to the site, PARENT and TEEN. What an innovative way of presenting the issue of sexual choices from both perspectives simultaneously. Great Idea!
For now, I will direct my post towards the parent perspective. In one of my blog posts I begged parents to consider preferably talking to their kids early on about sex
therby taking preventive measures rather than possibly corrective ones.
The “corrective measures” of wrong sexual choices include this fatal one: abortion. As a young lady who has taken such a turn in my quest for a “solution” of an unwanted pregnancy, I feel I can speak from a position of authority on this topic.
I refuse to blame the act of abortion as the cause of all my problems, else that would mean other people shouldn’t have problems. But an abortion has consequences that could take up space in your life ( or head) if you allow the devil to use it to beat you. I thank God that Christ died for ALL my sins, so I am actually guilt-free according to my faith. But sometimes I wonder, and when I do… I pray…
The initial feeling you get after being judged “pregnancy guilty” and subject to the sentence of becoming a mother when you are not ready , is PANIC. For me I held on to the idea that I could do it. I started writing lists and planning how to be the best mom I could be. Word of caution; who you talk to matters a lot. There are two categories: those who will be naysayers/supporters of abortion and those who will let you be strong and go for it/face your errors. Deep down, each of us know what kind of advice we are going to get depending on who we ask for it. And also depending on what we want to hear. I say this because I decided to take a naysayers advice: The minute I decided to become “unpregnant”, I felt a weight lift off me… Relief. I started imagining my life back to normal again.
I continued to celebrate my releif till after my life became “normal again”. I wonder how my life would be if I had taken a different decision. I think it would have been harder on me physically and easier mentally. “Normalcy” and “relief” slowly morphed into what-ifs and then depression.
Not all women who have had an abortion are depressed. But I am the kind of person who looked down on people who made such mistakes and considered myself different. Different from the cheap girl who doesn’t have a care and will have an abortion just to let her life go on as usual. I always felt I could do better. But I didn’t. And it tore me apart, it made me feel guilt and blame. I thank God because Jesus took the punishment for my sins.
After narrating about myself, I want to pass across this message:
- An abortion is not a solution, it is the exchange of one problem for another.
- Sex is a lesser evil than an abortion is. If you have had sex and ended up pregnant, don’t increase the list to sex and abortion. Leave it at just sex.
- The consequences of an unwanted pregnancy live with you for a long time. You could chose to make it a joyful thing by having the baby or chose otherwise. It is up to you. And after having the baby I believe you still need to chose the joy aspect of being a mother.
So dear parent, put it into your pre-teen’s mentality that there is a time for everything Ecc3:1-8. A time for abundance of sex (in marraige) and a time to abstain from sex.
It’s time to gain some courage and talk to your child. Be creative, find ways to make your pre-teen listen to you. Yes you can. Do your role, and then… Pray.